


slow down, they don't love you like i love you

by orphan_account



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-10-01 21:51:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: jules was like a drug. though, she was more addictive than any drug rue had taken before, and she made her feel things she never thought she could.~ a very short rules oneshot i wrote when i finished rewatching, title taken from hold up by beyoncé





	slow down, they don't love you like i love you

jules was like a drug. though, she was more addictive than any drug rue had taken before, and she made her feel things she never thought she could. she felt safe around her. to the point that her whole brain was filled with thoughts of the other girl. what it would feel like to kiss her, what it would feel like to hold her, what it would feel like to-

_no, jules is your best friend, rue. come on, get it together._

rue found her self pining from afar, yet so close, feeling awful about herself for thinking these things about jules. she felt awkward whenever jules would ask her something sexual, especially when she was taking pictures of her for ‘tyler’ and jules asked rue if she would fuck her. never had such indecent thoughts run through her mind than at that very moment.

then ‘tyler’ asked jules to meet up. and rue lost hold of the emotions she’d been pushing down. she kissed jules and thought that was it. the friendship was over and jules would never want to speak to her again. but when they locked eyes at the carnival and jules came running over to rue, engulfing her in a hug, she realised it was okay, they were okay.

later that night when rue heard a knock on her bedroom window and found jules standing there looking, let’s say, a little worse for wear, her heart broke for her best friend. then, wrapped up in rue’s embrace, jules kissed her. and kissed her. and kissed her. until she fell asleep, rue’s arms still holding her tight. rue slept with a smile on her face that night.

time moved on, and by halloween, rue was feeling like she was losing jules completely. she wasn’t talking to her, not telling her what was wrong and getting absolutely shit-faced instead of acknowledging her pain. she fell into the pool, luckily for her, not drunk enough to drown, but drunk enough to start reciting lines from something that rue couldn’t distinguish. maybe it was something to do with the character she was dressed as? she didn’t know. and didn’t have a chance to think, really, before she was being dragged into the pool by the other girl, and pulled into a brief kiss that just felt _wrong_.

when jules went to the city for the weekend, rue just seemed to spiral. she, somehow, managed to watch a whole 22 episodes of love island, the scottish commentator and a revolving door of hot british twenty-somethings “looking for love” keeping her brain stimulated enough to not fall asleep, and also not pee.

when her mom had to rush her to the hospital, rue realised just how much she did need to get her shit together. she didn’t want to cause any more pain to her mom and gia, they didn’t deserve it.

so when she made it to the train station with jules, after finally “kiss-kiss”-ing her, and planning to run away, rue thought of her mom and gia, and that’s when she knew that whatever decision she would make would not only hurt someone important to her but also herself. she could leave with jules to the city, live life as it comes, but hurt her family by leaving them without a word, something she promised she wouldn’t do. or she could stay in east highland with her family and lexi and her friends, finish high school and live the life that was provided for her, but lose jules, who she loves more than anything right now.

she chooses the latter. she hopes someday jules will forgive her, that she’ll forgive herself. she hopes this isn’t the last time she sees jules either, as much of an uncertainty that is.

she drags herself home, her mom and gia, thankfully, already asleep, and slumps her way to her bedroom.

she doesn’t know what to do with herself. she doesn’t know how she can face anyone now jules was gone. jules was like a drug, more addictive than any drug rue had taken before. and now jules was gone, what does rue have left?


End file.
